


Frozen Harmonies

by crushermyheart08



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-10-01 16:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10194395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crushermyheart08/pseuds/crushermyheart08
Summary: When Picard is injured on a frozen planet, the complicated emotions of the Starship Captain and his CMO are tested to the limit. "If they were going to their deaths, he didn't want to die alone. It was selfish, he knew that. But she had found her place in his heart and he wasn't going to let her die alone either." Picard/Crusher.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For my OTP that never quite sailed among the stars... Also up on my fanfiction acc. I imagine this to take some time in series 5/6, before Kesprytt. Any Picard/Crusher shippers out there please enjoy. I promise to return them safely once this adventure is over :)

If they were going to their deaths he didn't want to die alone. It was selfish, he knew that. But she had found her place in his heart and he wasn't going to let her die alone either. So he wrapped his arms tightly around her; two frozen harmonies intertwined in an unbreakable melody.

///

He shivered as her freezing hands crept across his skin, desperately trying to stem the blood that seeped out from the wound that spread at an angry angle across his chest. It was a deep incision; an injury he doubted he would recover from. It was painful, but not as painful as the thought that he could be leaving her alone. She shook her head, fighting away the tears that threatened to fall.

"Beverly, stop."

In a way it was too late, but she couldn't let herself think about the prospect of losing him.

"No."

She wasn't going to let him die. Not now.

"Let me-" She pressed a hand to her forehead as a cough tore itself from her icy lungs. "Just… let me help."

He felt his artificial heart warm when he saw the soft determination in her eyes, the way her fingers trembled in the fading light... even though they both knew it was all in vain. He sighed in exasperation.

"Beverly..."

With care and precision, the Doctor pressed the two sides of the wound inwards, sealing the deep hole that was embedded within. The motion caused him to groan.

"I'm sorry."

Picard attempted a smile.

"You weren't the one who harpooned me."

They'd lost most of their equipment when they'd been separated from the Away Team 5 hours ago, and the only thing of use was a small sewing kit Beverly found in the depths of her pocket. Picard was beginning to wonder whether braving an ice storm on the planet of Malvarma II had been a good idea after all.

He hissed when he saw the needle in her hand, the other trying to thread the cotton through. The thread missed, missed again as if it were trying to defy her steely determination. Beverly bit her lip, concentrating as her breath froze in the still air. She could do this. It was okay. Everything was going to be okay... It had to be.

He noticed her hands had stilled. She frowned bitterly; her voice came out as a whisper, "I don't have anything else."

"Hey." He lifted her chin gently, a groan emanating from the movement. "It's okay."

She nodded worriedly. The cold air had ravaged her nerves and she couldn't fully control her fingers as the needle pierced his skin.

"This might sting a little."

///

The air was getting thinner and thinner, and it was quickly becoming difficult to breathe. The swirling winds howled outside like a wolf in the dead of the night, their icy fingers clawing at the stark blackness that was forever out of their reach. He shivered. The night was young and it would be morning before any thought of rescue could be entertained. He shifted uncomfortably, a deep sensation of unease gripping his mind until he felt her body meet his own, her back against his arm where she had fallen asleep. Relief momentarily stilled his worrisome thoughts.

"Beverly?"

The sound of her voice floated towards him, soft as a feather's caress but laced with quiet concern.

"What's wrong?"

It was enough to calm his fears, but he still felt guilty for putting her through this. Lifting his hand feebly, Picard reached out into the pitch black and summoned his weary voice.

"Come here."

A moment's pause, and then he could hear her moving. He listened intently, straining in the morbid darkness as she lifted herself off the frozen ground beside him, pushing herself up on her elbows. He tilted his neck as her face came into view, a faint outline in the dark.

"No, don't move," Beverly said in a gentle, commanding tone. He almost smiled, but she did not return it. Her mind was preoccupied with anxiety. Wishing she would move closer, the Captain reflected on how often he had heard the Doctor use that commanding tone. Sometimes she hid behind it; sometimes she used it to get her own way. Picard raised his brow, sighed, realised she seemed to order him about a lot. What was more, he didn't seem to mind it at all.

A weight lay on his chest, her forehead pressed against him. It was hardly perceptible through the layers of material surrounding his body that swaddled him in warmth. Knowing there was no point in arguing with the Doctor, Picard still held fast to the knowledge that he shouldn't have allowed her take off the coat that was now purposefully wrapped around him.

"Doctor?" He nudged her arm carefully. "Are you alright?"

Her hand rested just above his injury, tenderly, as if to protect it.

"Beverly?"

She didn't reply.

Inch by inch, he wound his arm underneath her, pulling her up next to him so that she lay in the crook of his shoulder. She shivered and patted his arm, murmured something incomprehensible, but he understood it regardless. Don't waste your energy; stay still - something along those lines. He studied her face, squinting as he found the high rise of her cheekbones, the soft curves of her lips in the blackness as she journeyed to and from unconsciousness. He could make out the vicious mark that marred her cheek where an arrow had caught her skin, the blood frozen around it. She opened her eyes.

"We shouldn't fall asleep," she rasped quietly. "If we let our body temperatures drop below-"

"Doctor..." He cut her off, interrupting her apprehensive remarks. "You needn't lecture me about the effects of hypothermia."

She nodded, her breath almost warm on his skin. "Are you in any pain?"

"A little," he replied truthfully, not wishing to lie to his loyal CMO. He had purposefully lied many times before, oh so many. And yet she saw through his facade every time, could see through the mask, could read his deepest emotions. He only wished that she could understand his true feelings right at that very moment.

"I'm afraid I don't have any painkillers," Beverly informed him with reluctance. "The cold should help to numb the pain, but you mustn't get too cold."

"Yes, dear," he whispered, tightening his grip on her waist. Picard bit his lip when he fully realised what he'd said, what he'd called her. But Beverly made no response. He wasn't entirely sure whether she had heard him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to read and review. Constructive criticism is very welcome! More to come soon. Enjoy :) x

Sunbeams trickled over the pristine white surfaces, leaping between the great icy ravines that formed the cave ceiling. Morning had come, but he felt like he hadn't slept at all. The cold seeped in with icy fingers, pulled at his body and threatened to tear him apart, but the slowly decreasing warmth of his best friends' body curled up beside him had somehow kept deaths door at bay.

The muscles around his chest strained and pulled. Already he could feel his body repairing itself.

She was so still he could barely hear her breathing, and for a moment his darkest thoughts came to light as he wondered if she had succumbed to the brink. He would never forgive himself if he lost her.

And then she shivered, and his soul leapt with relief. Her hair tickled his skin as she shifted slightly, a deep frown marring her features.

"Combined body heat," the Doctor spoke suddenly sometime later, startling him out of a light sleep. He looked across at her pale face, gently lit by the rise of the blue morning sun. "Pardon?"

"Combined body heat," Beverly repeated slowly, her eyes focusing on the ridge of his firm jawline. "That's why you moved me. We should stay warmer if we're closer together."

The Captain couldn't help but grin as she tucked her head beneath his chin as if to prove her point.

///

"Jean Luc?"

"Mmmh?" He groaned in the frigid silence, shuffling a little closer to where she lay. But her body was no longer tucked up beside him. He tried to sit up, fear gripping his mind until a gentle pair of hands ushered him back down to the ground.

"I'm s-still here," Beverly whispered moving over to him. She had scoured the cave for any sign of life, anything they could use to build a fire or signal for help. But there had been nothing, just the ice that surrounded them.

Those words he had spoken the night before still lingered in her mind, the deep baritone of his voice so soft as he whispered into the dark. She knew he may have thought she was asleep, but sleep had not claimed her until the early hours and even then his voice had remained.

He shivered as she removed the thermal gloves from her shaking hands, her body shuddering with cold. He really shouldn't have let her give him her coat. Icy-blue fingers danced across his chest and deftly moved the material away to check his wound. He sighed, trying to calm himself, the regular beats of his artificial heart bearing no resemblance to the panic he felt deep in his soul. "You scared me half to death."

A glimmer of guilt and remorse held his gaze as she frowned and flinched at his choice of words, her eyes cast downwards. Jean-Luc bit his tongue.

"Sorry."

She shook her head. There was nothing to forgive.

"H-how're you feeling?"

"I've been worse," he replied nonchalantly, ignoring the irritated flash in her eyes. Another lie, but it was better than the truth.

He felt different. Something was different. "What did you do?"

"I found a small analgesic in your jacket. Youpre extrememly lucky considering," Beverly shrugged, pulling down on the stubborn hat that refused to stay over his ears. "You were groaning all night so I administered 10cc's about … seven hours ago. It should last for about 24 hours. Or at least until we get out of here."

His stomach rumbled in protest, and a slight grin appeared on the Doctor's face.

"Hungry?"

"A little."

"It's nearly midday."

Picard nodded, understanding the words lying hidden beneath her simple remark. "I'm sure Riker will have sent out a Rescue Team by now."

Beverly tried to keep her teeth from chattering as she removed the last layer of clothing covering his wound. "We don't even know if the rest of the Away Team made it back to the ship."

"If they didn't, I'm sure they'll have found shelter and waited out the storm," he replied, trying to belay her fears. Not that he truly believed his own words, but they couldn't afford to lose hope. "It's no good trying to go out into that storm. Our best chance is to stay inside and wait it out."

He gasped when the cold air met his skin and her fingers probed the frozen blood that surrounded his injury.

"Make it quick, Doctor."

"Yes Captain."

///

"I want you to promise me something."

Beverly looked up sharply, his words a comforting presence compared to the previous, unnerving silence. "What?"

He took a deep breath, knowing that she wasn't going to like what he had to say. Not one bit.

"Promise me…" Oh, there was so much hope in her eyes. "Promise me that if things get worse, that you won't worry about me."

The Doctor laughed bitterly. "You stupid, stupid man."

If he hadn't known better Picard would have thought she was teasing him. Her fingers trailed across his brow; she knew exactly what he meant - even if he hadn't said those horrible words, the words that scared her the most.

"There is no way in hell that I'm going to leave you here."

Once upon a time he wouldn't have berated her, wouldn't have argued with her, but now both their lives were on the line. He sighed. Why did she have to be so stubborn?

"Beverly, look…" The unspoken words already tasted bitter. He swallowed. "Chances are I'm not going to make it."

She opened her mouth to interrupt him, but he held fast.

"No, don't say anything," Picard spoke heavily, squirming as the Doctor's probing fingers moved away and she straightened. Already her guard was back up, her defenses swarming to prepare for the onslaught she knew was coming, and she was staring at him with her professionally neutral expression. Not a cold or unforgiving stare, but there was a frigidity about her that unsettled him. "Just listen."

Beverly nodded, her face falling in resignation.

"I don't know what will happen, what will happen to me," he said slowly, the cold making it difficult for him to form what he wanted, needed to say to her, "but I know that if there's any way to save you from this…" He paused, struggling to find the words to explain how he felt. Was there any way she'd ever understand? "…This situation. You... I can't risk your life in order to save mine. I-I will find a way to get you back… even if that means-"

"Stop."

"Beverly…"

"No. Stop it," Beverly frowned, her eyes blazing with anger as her hands stilled. "I am not leaving you here, no matter what you say."

He began to feel himself losing the battle to control his temper, and the anger began to bubble to the surface. "I can command you to leave."

"As your CMO I can override that command if your health is compromised, and it very well is," Beverly retorted sharply, suddenly on her feet and walking away from him.

"I will not allow you to do that!" Picard shouted angrily. "Doctor, I will order you."

"You wouldn't dare!" Her legs protested and she stumbled slightly. This wasn't happening. She couldn't leave him here to die. Not now.

He frowned, his decision already made. "I would."

She shivered, her frame silhouetted by the blue rays of the sun in an icy blaze. "Dammit Jean-Luc, you could die!"

"To save you, yes."

She froze, her mind reeling. "How will you dying save me, Jean-Luc? How will that help?"

"I've already had one Crusher die under my command," Picard spoke, his voice deathly quietly, "and I will not allow there to be another."

Beverly sighed, shivered at she let sat back down opposite him. She knew what he was trying to say, at least some part of it. And it hurt that he couldn't find the words, wouldn't reveal what was troubling him. She was his best friend. Honesty was something she didn't often expect from him, but now, now she needed him to tell her the truth.

Her gaze fell to the icy floor. "You didn't answer my question."

Picard stared at her, his mouth opening and then snapping shut abruptly. How could he tell her? It would change everything.

"Did you stop to think what would happen if you died? What I would feel?" Beverly whispered. "Dammit Jean-Luc, my husband is dead and my son is on the other side of the universe at Starfleet. You're all I have left." She wiped furiously at the single tear that had escaped her composure. "If you died you wouldn't be saving me. You may well just kill me."

Silence fell between them, unnerving and filled with an anxious dread. Her words had driven a hole deep in his heart, and he wished that he could simply take her in his arms and hold her forever. But life was not so simple, nor forgiving, and he brushed away any thoughts of his raging emotions. He pushed her away, kept her out. It was better this way.

"It would put my conscious at ease," Picard replied dismissively, "knowing that you were alive. You may think I need you the most right now, but one day Wesley will need you more." He sighed heavily, knowing his next words could break her, and he hated himself for it. But it needed to be done. "If you stay here you may never see your son again. Question is Doctor, are you willing to take that chance?"

She stared at him, and it broke his heart to see her resolve crumble. A sigh escaped his lips as the Doctor wrapped the coats further around him.

"You can say what you like, Captain," Beverly murmured; and as he looked up he found her eyes empty, her voice quiet and cold. "But I'm not leaving."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has followed, commented and left kudos. Means an awful lot :) Hope you enjoy the next installment x

23 hours earlier...

"Life signs, Geordi?"

"None sir," Commander LaForge replied as he observed his tricorder readings.

"It is possible, Captain," Data spoke up, "that our readings could have been false. The magnetic energy from the planet's surface combined with the ice storm could have created an energy signal, similar to that of a life signal, that our instruments were not able to define. Taking into account the ice storm and the genetic makeup of the surface, it is likely that there is no life here."

Picard frowned, searching the distance for any signs of life. The Enterprise had received a signal coming from the far side of the frozen planet two hours previous. It had been faint, almost unrecognisable amidst the oncoming ice storm. The Bridge crew were instantly intrigued and had felt obliged to investigate having discovered that Malvarma II had no previous records of life or Federation visitations.

Whatever had been here was certainly long gone – if there had been anything at all.

"Thank you, Mr Data," Picard spoke deflatedly, his brows knit together in frustration as his gaze swept across the empty periphery once more. He nodded in defeat.

The planet was desolate; a plane of ice and snow with winds carrying a hurricane-like force. From horizon to horizon, the point where the elements met and ice became sky there was a vast expanse of inhospitable open land. Grey matter descended from the atmosphere, swirling violently and then panning across the icy surface like freshwater fish battling against a river's current. Everywhere they looked there was only a frozen wasteland to greet them, brilliant white against the murky grey sky.

Their time here was limited.

Riker turned towards the Captain, his words carried away by the strengthening storm that was growing wilder by the second.

"It's hopeless, Sir. We can't go much further."

The Captain needed no further convincing.

"Number One, beam back to the Enterprise and prepare for transport," Picard instructed, squinting against the winds that tugged at their winter gear with chilled fingers. "Have Mr O'Brien ensure that we are beamed back one at a time." The possibility of losing a signal in this storm was too high to risk beaming everyone back at once.

"Yes Sir," Riker replied before tapping his combadge. "Enterprise, one to beam up."

"Standby sir," Mr O'Brien's voice sliced through the thick, icy air. "There will be a few minutes between transports. The window is small, but it should be enough."

"Acknowledged."

Picard sighed internally as Riker shimmered and vanished before their eyes, and prepared to beam another of his crew aboard. He could not help but feel a little disappointed that their venture had proved futile. It always excited him when something new revealed itself. He did not often personally participate in the Away Teams, instead preferring to command from the Bridge. However in this case the Captain had felt that this endeavour was somehow important.

He felt someone brush against his arm and instinctively knew that it was Beverly. Dr Crusher stood to his left, her eyelashes glistening in the muddy grey light with a delicate dusting of snow. He smiled grimly, unable to urge his gaze away; the longing he felt deep in his soul suddenly pressing against the walls he had built so highly around him. But there was no time for such thoughts. She returned his sentiment, and her glassy blue eyes spoke a thousand words as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Captain, this storm is only going to get worse and somehow I don't think we're going to want to be out here when it starts."

"Agreed, Mr LaForge," Picard nodded, snapping out of his thoughts and concentrating on the matter at hand. He tapped his com. "Mr O'Brien, how soon can we beam aboard?"

A crackled silence was their only reply.

"Enterprise, do you read me?"

Again, nothing.

Data stepped forward.

"Captain, may I suggest we seek shelter? It is possible this storm may last some time and if Geordi is correct I believe it would be wise to prepare ourselves."

"Of course."

Picard turned and found Dr Crusher staring at him. Again he offered her a small smile. Seconds passed but she did not return it. It was only upon closer inspection that he realised she wasn't staring at him, but at some point in the far distance a mere inch away from his right ear. Her features contorted into a deep frown, and he was about to ask what the matter was when she spoke aloud, her voice uncertain.

"Captain…?"

He turned and followed her gaze. To his surprise he could see a faint black line on the horizon, moving towards them at a startling speed. What appeared to be only a hazy outline soon became a significant streak that cast a marked impression on the surface. Picard stepped backwards towards his team, never taking his eyes from the mysterious back shape.

"It looks like some sort of object," said Geordi, his head cocked to the side in deep thought, "but my visor can't make it out with all the interference from the storm. Not at this distance."

"Mr Data?"

"There are several explanations," Data clarified as the group moved closer together. "The first is a mirage – an optical phenomenon in which light rays are manipulated to display a false image. Our sight could be deceived through the reflection of light off the planet surface."

"And the second?" Dr Crusher pressed. Somehow she was certain this was no trick of the light.

Data continued, "The second is that our original perceptions were correct."

Picard spun on his heel sharply, a brow raised in question.

"Life signs, Sir," Data confirmed, and as Picard turned back to face the mysterious shape he could now see that it was not one shape at all, but many, all moving at exactly the same speed.

"They're life forms all right," Geordi confirmed. "Human-like in the anatomy but I don't think they're going to be anything like us, Captain."

"They live in this climate, so either they're able to cope with this weather or they need protection against it," Beverly interjected thoughtfully. She was mildly intrigued, a little excited perhaps, but her nerves were on edge and she couldn't shake the gut-feeling that something dreadful was going to happen.

"Hostile intent?" Picard queried.

"Quite possibly," Geordi replied.

And then all of a sudden the black shape split up into individual bodies, and across the short distance away it was easy to make out the sharp weapons that each lifeform carried with them. Spears, harpoons, bows and arrows - primitive weapons, but lethal if used with strength and brute force. It would take only a few minutes for them to cross the space between them.

"Captain, this planet has no previous logged encounters with the Federation. The Prime Directive-"

Picard nodded.

"We will not intervene, but it's possible they may have already seen us."

A blast of wind suddenly knocked the Captain off his feet and he veered sideways causing Dr Crusher to reach for his arm to steady him. Her gloved hands gripped his bicep and she hauled him upwards.

"Enterprise, do you read me? We need immediate transport off the planet!" Picard tried once more, hoping against all odds that their com system was back online. There was no reply.

A harpoon clattered to the ground a few feet behind them, startling the officers.

Data blinked.

"Upon reflection, they are most certainly hostile."

Picard knew there was no chance of negotiation with these lifeforms and neither diplomacy nor peace was going to help them in this situation. They could defend themselves, but revealing futuristic weapons to such an undeveloped species as this would break the Prime Directive. They had no choice. Geordi was right - they needed to find shelter, and quickly.

"Run!" Picard shouted, turning on his heel and running headlong into the icy winds.

"In which direction, sir?" Data called after him, frowning as Dr Crusher ran back towards him. She shook her head and grabbed his arm.

"Just run, Data!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apologies for the gap in updating this. Here's the fourth chapter. Kept re-writing it over and over, but I'm happy with it now. This is the second half of the flashback. Please read and review if you would be so kind. Feedback is highly appreciated! More to come soon. Enjoy :) x
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I own absolutely nothing but the plot.

They ran for a long time, but no sooner had they gained speed and distance, the lifeforms had bridged the gap and were closing in on the officers. The grey clouds parted and thinned to reveal a vast mountain range ahead; black, rocky peaks rose high into the low atmosphere. Sharp blasts of wind knocked them to the ground, the snow engulfing them in flurries of white. Arrows flew past, cutting through the stiffening air like hot knives through butter. One wrong turn and it would be the end.

The wind was dropping and Picard knew the calm before the storm would soon be upon them. The air began to harden, thinning by every second. It was becoming difficult to breath and the cold threatened to capture them all in its heartless grip. All would fall still, silent in the few moments before it began.

A cry shook him from his thoughts and he turned to see Geordi struggling to lift himself off the floor where he had fallen. Picard ran back towards him, breathing deeply in an attempt to stay focused. He lifted the Chief Engineer with one arm, counterbalancing them with the other as they began to run again. A few more minutes and they would be at the foot of the first peak. They could make it, he was sure.

"Captain!"

He heard her strangled cry before he saw her moving in front of him, her body diving towards him blindly, arms winding around his neck. He felt the brush of an arrow tip against his thigh, the force of it burning his skin and it felt as if a rapid bolt of electricity had shot through his leg. The ice collided with his body seconds later and the Doctor quickly pushed herself off him and reached for his hand.

"Come on!"

It wasn't until much later that he realised she had saved his life.

The snow beneath their feet was brushed away by the howling winds to reveal a thin, icy surface with rushing water below. Low grumbles boomed across the plane, shattering in its magnitude - the unsettling sounds of an unknown force waking from a deep slumber, threatening, cavernous vibrations mingling with that of the snow thunder above.

Crack! Crack! Crack!

The planet surface groaned and abruptly began to move from side to side, great pockets of air sweeping the icy plates apart as several loud cracks ricocheted off the mountains. Great rumbles resounded in the deep and all of a sudden the world began to fall apart.

The relentless lifeforms had dispersed, scattering in all directions to avoid the icy depths that erupted up from beneath them. And yet still they fired, flurries of arrows falling into the waters.

Where the hell was the Enterprise? Why was the transporter beam taking so long?

Picard span around, tried to catch sight of his crew. Data and Geordi stood together on one piece of ice, Beverly on another. He squinted and saw the angry red mark on her cheek where an arrow had caught her skin, and he felt anger surge through his veins, wild and unbridled. How dare they attack us! How dare they hurt her!

CRACK!

Picard momentarily lost his footing and jumped between the separating ice plates, careful not to fall into the cold and unforgiving waters below.

He never saw what hit him.

It was as if he had been struck by lightening, his body tingling with pain and the sheer force of energy that had driven the weapon into his chest. He heard Beverly scream, but all he could see was the snow and the ice and he knew he would never make it out alive. Icy fingers clutched at his heart, tearing him apart as they reached for his soul. It would be so easy to give in. The cold was calling him, beckoning him to follow it into the icy depths beneath his feet. His knees gave way and he was falling, falling...

"I have got you, Captain."

Strong arms wound around his waist and he shouted as the weapon was dislodged from his chest. Black dots blinked before his eyes, obscuring his sight as Data dragged him to safety. He had to stay awake, had to get them to safety, but he was tired… oh, so tired…

》》》》》

"Captain? Captain, can you hear me?"

He knew that voice, somewhere amidst the haze and fog that clouded his mind, he knew it.

"Dammit, Jean-Luc, wake up!"

A deep pain shot through his chest and he shouted out, for a moment confused until he remembered what had happened. The ice breaking… Geordi and Data fighting the lifeforms… Beverly. Beverly! His eyes snapped open, frantically searching for the owner of the voice amidst the swirling grey winds that lapped around them like a predator circling its prey.

The Doctor fell to her knees beside him, panting heavily as she allowed herself one moment of rest. Blood coated her gloves and coat, her own already frozen in a delicate pattern on her pale face. Cogs clicked and turned as her brain tried to comprehend the dire situation, working to find a solution. All the while thinking to herself: he's going to be fine, he's going to be fine, he's going to be fine. But she couldn't deal with the emotional burden of her heart. There was no room for sentimentality here.

Taking a deep steadying breath, Beverly tucked her heart away into the darkest corner of her soul and began to compartmentalise. And when she opened her eyes she was the formidable, clinically detached Dr Crusher once again. Scanning the area, her chest rose and fell quickly and her eyes stung with bitter, unshed tears.

He realised she must have dragged him all the way out here.

"Can you walk?" she asked breathlessly, frowning as she crawled over to him, assessing his injury.

"What?"

But the Doctor didn't wait for him to reply. With a grunt of effort she wound her arms around his waist and lifted him from the ground, ignoring his cries of protest.

What the hell was she doing dragging him all the way out here? Where the hell was Data? And Geordi? What about the lifeforms? What about-

"Save your questions for later, Captain," Beverly shouted above the deafening winds as if she could hear exactly what he was thinking, and she placed her arm under his shoulder. "There's a cave up ahead we can use for shelter. It's not far."

》》》》》

His chest hurt like hell, and a hard weight kept pressing on it. Down and up, down and up. Faster than a clock's tick. Fire burned where the weapon had struck; molten lava flowed through his freezing veins, igniting a volcanic surge of pain that spread across his upper body. His lips tingled with an unfamiliar pressure, soft and yet desperate.

Sucking in a breath of air he suddenly felt his brain kick into gear and he hit out at the formidable weight with all his strength.

A soft oouf! stopped his motions, and he lowered his arms, instantly regretting the decision to move.

It was only then he realised he hadn't been breathing.

"Captain?"

She was on her knees again; her breathing ragged with exhaustion, pale, translucent grey as it blew into the cold air and then dissipated like a small drop of water in a large, rolling ocean. Her hands crept over him, gentle, evaluating, calculating the odds of his survival. Gone was the weight on his chest, gone was the sweet pressure on his lips. He blinked, wanting to know if she had… if he…

"Shhh…" Beverly whispered softly. "You're going to be alright."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apologies for the long gap in updating this!! My laptop and harddrive have been playing up so I nearly lost everything :3 Any-who, hope you enjoy this chapter :)

"Beverly?"

He startled awake, a hand reaching out into the cold air, searching for her blindly. White spots blinked across his vision, mingling with the ashy blue light of the sun in an array of dull colours. Confusion reached into the deep recesses of his mind, fogging his memory.

"I'm here," Beverly spoke suddenly, her hands quickly capturing his and squeezing it tightly, reassuringly. "It's okay."

"W-what happened?" He queried, unable to make sense of the clouded images that had filled his dreams. "Where's Data and La Forge?"

Beverly shushed him, shaking her head.

"They were fighting off the… whatever attacked us when you were injured."

Her lips formed a thin line, and something in the back of his mind told him that the strange tinge of stone blue that graced them was not a good thing.

"They managed to get away," Beverly explained, "but the ice made it impossible for them to follow us. I'm sure they're safe, waiting for the Enterprise somewhere just like we are."

"Safe?" He couldn't seem to think straight.

Beverly nodded.

"They're safe."

"The Enterprise?"

He could barely feel her gloved fingers tracing his brow. She sighed.

"The Comm system is down at the moment. Riker and Mr O'Brien should have it back online soon. You've got nothing to worry about."

He nodded slowly.

"Dr Crusher?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"I'm glad you're here with me."

》》》》》

It would do no good to move him, she knew that, but in the back of her mind Beverly couldn't see how they were going to last much longer. She looked across at Jean-Luc, noting his pale, clammy skin, his shivering form. He hadn't responded for what must have been over two hours, and now she was frightened and more than worried. Doubt had turned to worry, worry into a fear that had left an ashen taste in her mouth.

She pulled down on her hat, troubled her lip. The thermal jacket she was wearing had done its best to keep the cold out, but now she could feel her body responding to the icy weather, threatening to swallow her and drag her down into the depths of unconsciousness. An icy blast of wind ricocheted off the cave walls and sent shivers down her spine. But that was nothing, nothing compared to what she was being faced with.

She reached inside her jacket with shaking fingers and tapped her com-badge.

"Crusher to Enterprise."

Silence was her only reply. Of course it was pointless; the storm had blocked out all communications. She didn't know why she had expected an answer, why she held onto a hope that would only reveal itself to be false.

"Enterprise, this is Doctor Crusher. Do you read me?"

Nothing.

The light of the pale blue sun was slowly fading once again, and the howling winds that had slowly subsided were once again battering the world outside. A day here lasted fewer hours than that of an Earth day, but trapped alone with the Captain had made it seem like an eternity. Crawling across the snow-covered floor, Beverly made her way back towards the Captain. Everything ached; her bones were chilled and sore. There was nothing she could do for Jean-Luc but keep him warm.

"Captain, you need to wake up," Beverly spoke loudly, shaking his shoulders in an attempt to rouse him, but she knew he was too far gone for her words to reach him.

"I told you not to fall asleep," Beverly reprimanded, her voice serious but light as she wrapped the material further around him, her hand lingering on his cheek. "Sometimes I wish you would listen to me."

She stared at his face, searching for any sign that he might wake up. What if he didn't wake up? What if she'd missed her chance to tell him how she really felt, that she wasn't afraid anymore? Because he was all she had left now and he meant everything to her.

"I was going to tell you something..."

She placed a hand over his chest, her mind wandering. His pulse rate was quick, his metal heart compensating for the blood he had lost, his breathing shallow. She couldn't bear the thought of watching him die.

"Stop it, Beverly," the Doctor whispered angrily, wiping at her eyes with frostbitten fingers. "Crying won't solve anything. Now pull yourself together!"

Reaching up, the Doctor pulled down on her hat and then tucked her knees into her chest.

And she sat. And she waited.

》》》》》

When he woke he could feel a weight on his chest, not too heavy to be uncomfortable but just enough to make him wonder what it could be. He was cold, freezing but for the small patch of warmth around his torso. He blinked, and found only darkness.

"What-?"

He tried to move, but his limbs were all but severed from him, his nerves frozen in place. The pain had gone, numbed into a dull ache that centered in the middle of his chest. His artificial heart was working overtime to compensate for the cold.

An arm was wrapped around his body; a hand lay over his chest creating warmth that bloomed over his injury. He reached for it, moving achingly slowly until he came across the small fingers that rested protectively over him. He leaned back, clutching her hand in his hand. There was no pain, no cold. She was still here, and that was all that mattered.

"You're awake," came a muffled voice, buried in the thick layers that covered him. He felt her hand tense, and he feebly tightened his grip.

"Yes."

He tried to lift his head, tried to meet her gaze because just one glimpse of her meadow-blue eyes would make everything okay, would make him feel alive again. He swallowed.

"How long?"

Her reply was hesitant. "I don't know."

She turned her head, eyes cast down until she finally found the strength to move. Her hand moved away from his injury and she shuffled towards him. His harshly spoken words had troubled her for the hours he had been asleep, but the thought of losing him had outweighed the anger he had thrown her way. She knew his strategies; how every time she tried to creep into his heart he put up his walls, doubled his defenses and barricaded his soul from her sight. It hurt every time, and she could only hope that maybe one day he would let her in.

"You're going to be alright," Beverly murmured quietly, wondering whether the softly spoken words were more for his benefit rather than her own.

A hand came to cradle his face, then another, her thumb rubbing gently over his cheek. He couldn't tell where she was but he stared into the blackness and summoned a smile, felt her icy breath on his forehead, her chilled fingers tucking the fabric tightly around him. He was so glad she was still here.

"I'm sorry," Picard whispered, and Beverly smiled a lop-sided smile, the ache in her chest subsiding just a little. She'd already forgiven him.

"How do you feel?" the Doctor asked quietly, her voice strained. He blinked, wishing he could see her.

"Never better."

"You're a terrible liar, Jean Luc," Beverly whispered, and her hand lightly rested on his cheek, her fingers ghosting over his skin. He smiled lightly, guilt washing over him.

"That I am."

She bent down, tucking her knees up so that they were spooned against his side; her arms draped over his shoulders.

"I'm sorry I can't do anything else," Beverly frowned, shivering as she tugged the thermal hat down over his ears.

He reached for her hands, held them as he waited with bated breath.

"Just one thing?"

Her breathing stilled, frozen in anticipation.

"Anything."

"Kiss me."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Just borrowing the characters for a bit :)
> 
> A/N: I am so so sorry this took so long to update. My laptop kept me logged out for nearly two months! Anywho, I'm finally updating :) I know it's short, but sometimes the simpler things are better left uncomplicated. Please read and review if you have the time. Feedback is always welcome! :) x

He couldn't breathe; the pain of not knowing was worse than the physical cold that meandered like a vigorous fire through his veins. He stared up at her, unblinking, her face cast in a shadow of navy blue as the sunlight sloped across the cave ceiling, bringing all the new colours of the dawn. All became still, unmoving and motionless, suspended in time as he waited for her to come to a decision. There was no doubt in his mind; he had asked for too much.

Trembling fingers passed over his face as she searched the depths of her soul, hesitating in the moment's silence. The hammering of her heart beat loudly in her ears like a drum, counting down the seconds before she made the decision: to pull back from the brink or to take a leap of faith, and jump into the unknown. His eyes were so full of hope, so trusting. She knew she would do anything for him.

He closed his eyes, a deep ache settling in his chest as he felt the pressing weight of rejection. Then all at once he felt her breath on his skin, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, her lips mere inches away from his own. And he smiled as she kissed him.

...

If they were going to their deaths, he didn't want to die alone. It was selfish, he knew. But she had found her place in his heart, a place he had reserved for her because no one else could, nor would ever take her place; and he wasn't going to let her die alone either. So he wrapped his arms tightly around her; two frozen harmonies intertwined in an unbreakable melody.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.
> 
> A/N: Hello all. I can't believe this is the last chapter. I didn't want this fic to end so quickly but I'm afraid it has. Just wanted to say a huge thank you for all your support and comments. I really hope you like this last chapter. Please read and review if you have the time. Feedback is always welcome. Live Long and Prosper, my friends! Enjoy :) x

It wouldn't be long now. A few minutes, maybe hours at most, and they would fade away. The storm had settled, the winds had died down and an eerie silence had been left in its wake.

Beverly fought to keep her eyes open, to stay conscious. One deep breath and she knew she'd give in to the urge to sleep and be rocked into oblivion. Her arms were locked around the Captain, holding onto him for very life as if she could stop him from falling over the edge. But he had already lost consciousness a long time ago; only the slow rise and fall of his chest assured her that he was still alive.

She pressed her face into his body, wondering what it would be like to let go and follow him. At least that way they would be together.

Light dustings of snow drifted in through the cave entrance and she watched exhaustedly as they landed softly on the icy ground. Her eyelids closed slowly, and everything became a lazy grey blur.

"Riker to Picard, come in."

The crackled words were familiar, and yet distant like a forgotten memory. Beverly wanted to open her eyes, but the lull of sleep was dragging her down and it was almost impossible to stay awake.

"Riker to Picard. Come in Captain… Dr Crusher, can you hear me?"

She startled at the sound of her name and slowly lifted her head and gazed out of the cave entrance. She knew it was only her mind playing tricks, fragmented patterns of memory strands that only served as a reminder of all that had been. Out of pure habit, the Doctor carefully reached for her combadge and pressed it lightly. "C-crusher here," she whispered hoarsely, no knowing if they could hear her.

"Beverly!"

There was a commotion on the signalling end, and the curiosity of it roused her until she had fully opened both eyes. Riker's voice came through again. "Stay where you are, we've got a signal lock on you both."

She nodded her reply, and closed her eyes again. Slothful, cold fingers reached around her abdomen, creeping into her lungs and airways and burning away the remaining warmth. Her body was numb, her nerves shattered. It was hard to breathe.

She never heard the whine of the transporter beam surround them, but a sudden blast of warm air was enough to tell her they were safely back on board the Enterprise. Voices shouted and scattered like late autumn leaves in a hurricane wind, bodies rushing around to help them. She didn't protest as strong arms reached around her shoulders and pulled her away from the Captain.

"It's okay. You're safe now."

It was only then that her vision turned dark.

》》》》》

Bright lights filtered in behind his closed eyes, strange blurred shapes shifting like shadows in the murky-brown darkness. Clicks and low hums overwhelmed his senses, peculiarly normal compared to the still silence that had consumed him for what had seemed like an age. He struggled to move, a strangled groan settled in his throat. Warmth tickled his skin. And he felt content.

"Welcome back, Sir."

His eyes shot open, startled. Where was he?

"You've had a rough few days, Captain. How are you feeling?"

Voices; so many voices. He knew them, somewhere in the deep recesses of his memory, he knew them.

Little by little, Picard opened his eyes, allowing his vision to adjust. A stark whiteness filled his sight, and then there were shapes, bodies, flashing beams of light. It was familiar, uncomfortable in a manner of speaking. Ah. He was in Sickbay.

Commander Riker and Counsellor Troi stood over him, their foreheads creased with concern and relief. Deanna smiled. It took him a few moments to register her words: "Welcome back, Captain."

"It's good to see you awake, Sir," Riker grinned, the palpable weight of his sudden responsibility slowly lifting from his shoulders. The Captain was back, and all would be well again. Sighing with relief, the Councillor placed a careful hand on his shoulder. "You all gave us quite a fright."

"Mr LaForge and Data are both fine," Riker informed him in almost a cheerful manner. "They were discharged from Sickbay this afternoon."

Picard stared at his second in command, frowned. Something wasn't right. Something was missing. No, someone was missing.

Arms flailing, Picard tried in vain to get up, his eyes wide and frightened. He couldn't think straight. Hands pressed against him, urging him to lie back down but he pushed them all away. What was missing? Squeezing his eyes shut he searched, wondering why he couldn't remember. It was as if someone had ripped a hole in his heart, taken away something that he held so precious and dear. But what…?

There was something… it was so close, so familiar.

"I'm right here."

He turned, fighting the ache that rose in his throat at the sound of her voice. Perhaps it had all been a dream, perhaps he had only seen, only felt what he had wanted to feel. But oh, how he had felt. From the tips of his fingers to the depths of his heart, he knew.

A thick blue blanket was wrapped with care around her shoulders, a steaming cup of coffee on the bedside table. She looked haggard, her fiery hair framing her tired face; the dark rings under her eyes a reminder of too many sleepless nights. If he looked closely enough, he could still see the faint scar on her cheek where the arrow had caught her skin. She looked fragile, and he thought if he reached out and touched her, she would surely shatter into a thousand pieces. He breathed in, his lungs expanding and contracting in relief.

They were home.

Riker continued to talk, explaining what had happened while they'd been missing and how they'd eventually found the four officers, filling him in on all the technical details. But the Captain wasn't really listening. He only had eyes and ears for her. Riker's voice faded into undecipherable sounds and Picard found that eventually he wasn't able to hear them. The words were drowned out by the mantra he kept repeating inside his mind: we're alive.

She was smiling at him and her tired blue eyes burned brightly with life. It seemed like a lifetime ago when he had last allowed himself to sail across the ocean of her soul, always floating above the surface but never quite finding the courage to take the plunge. Her hand found his own. "Hey."

Neither of them noticed the Councillor escort his second in command quickly out of the room.

》》》》》

Later, when they had both recovered, they sat side by side on the couch in his quarters. No words had been necessary to discuss what had happened between them; the gentle affection in her gaze and the reassuring embrace of his arms had been enough. He knew they may never speak of what had happened on Malvarma II, but this he did know: that she had been willing to risk her life to save his, and even when he thought he had asked too much she had given him a piece of her heart.

Blankets were wrapped around their bodies, a tray of tea and coffee abandoned on the table. She was tucked against his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

Beverly shifted slightly, her breathing evening out as she fought off inevitable sleep. The warmth of his arm around her shoulders felt like it had always been there, like they had always been like this. She knew she wasn't ready, that she was still afraid to cross the boundaries of their friendship into the wilderness of the unknown. She hoped he realised that she loved him; she had for a long time. Maybe one day soon she'd be ready to tell him that, but for now being here listening to the regular beating of his heart was enough to reassure her.

A yawn escaped his lips and he could feel Beverly smiling. He revelled in the feel of her hair against his skin, her fingers interwoven with his own, his chin resting protectively over her head. She was the harmony to his melody, even though it had taken him this long to truly realise it. For just a few hours they could allow themselves these small moments of indulgence, to just be with one another without having to worry about what tomorrow would bring.

And he thought: 'This is precisely where we should be.'


End file.
